I am defiantly a sheep...

1. taken by casey. 32 weeks.
2. Little W @ 33 weeks. healthy baby.
growing great. weighs about 4 lbs 12 oz.

Casey one day told me that this year is the year of the dragon. He was born in the year of the dragon and now our son will be as well. We then looked up what animal I was. I was born in the year of the sheep. We then went on and looks up what characteristics a dragon and a sheep had. A sheep is someone who worries and stresses over a lot. (which is just like me).

My life is great but I think I am going insane sometimes because I have so much going on. I know that it is half because I am pregnant and I have baby brain but it is also because I am starting to stress out about many things.

1. Graduating. I have so much to do before little W comes into our life. One thing is to get most if not all of my portfolio done. This is a problem for me because I am having a hard time finding the motivation to do the work. I want to do all of these projects but half of me just doesn't have the energy or motivation to do. I have all of these ideas but I just can't kick myself in my butt and do it. Example of this is right now. I am at school waiting for Casey to get out of this night class so we can go home. I should be doing homework but instead I have been looking at blogs and now writing this post. I know that I am able to do it but all I want to do right now is spend time with Casey just relaxing and wishing that I could hold little W. (sidenote: I am so excited to be able to hold this little guy in my arms and be able to be with him and take cute little pictures of him.)

2. Becoming a parent. Becoming a parent is a very big deal. I sometimes ask myself, "am I really ready for this?" well do you know what... there is no going back now. I am going to be a mommy in 4 to 6 weeks. I have been thinking about all the things that I am going to have to do before he even gets here. and then all of the things that I have to do once he gets here. I know that no one is ready to become a parent, it comes with time but it is still something that I am stressing about.

3. My pregnancy. I am done mentally and physically. I wish that I could just be done being pregnant. Lately, I have been having a horrible time sleeping just because I am not comfortable and once I find a comfortable position I have to get up and go pee. Another thing is that I have been having bad back pain. Sometimes it hurts so bad that I just can't move (well I feel that way). I sometimes even feel like I am a really big person because it is hard for me to move around and get up.

Story: One day Casey and I were just on the couch watching some tv. I got up to throw something away. note the trash can is about 5 to 7 steps away from the couch. Once I got up and walked over to the trash can then walked over back to the couch and sat down, I was out of breath. I was breathing hard. Casey turns to me and said, "was it really that difficult to walk over to trash can the throw something away?" I responded with a "yes" and a "duh" look on my face. 

I also feel loop-sided. I lose my balance multiple times a day. I know it is because I have a big belly in the front and nothing (emphasis on nothing) in the back to balance it out. I worried that something isn't right. I have been having dreams that I lose the baby. So that makes me even more worried. But I know that everything is fine. He is a healthy baby. He is growing great. I am doing great and gaining more weight, which is good since I lost so much. I am having normal pregnancy symptoms. I am growing at a great rate. Everything is great. My doctor actually said when I went in last that I am regular.! So yippie for that.

 I am glad that I am about to be pregnant and this last bit of my pregnancy is NOT like my first bit. I am glad that I am pregnant with a healthy little boy. I am glad that I am able to get pregnant. and I am glad that I am pregnant with an amazing husband that is trying so hard to understand everything that goes on when your pregnant and is understanding when I am going insane. He is very loving to me and I can't wait to see him hold our son for the first time. (I might cry, I almost cry just thinking about it.) He is going to be an amazing daddy just like he is an amazing husband!

To sum it up. I know that I am going insane and I am really stressed but if I think about my future and how I am going to be a mom to an amazing little boy that I made with my amazing husband nothing else matters. I just am praying for the best for him and that is all I want.

♥ The Schroeder